


Dib tries to kill zim for the umpteenth time

by Knife_Consumer



Series: Found family au 🐌🐌 [1]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Gen, Gir is mentioned, ZADE, ZADF, cross-posted from Wattpad, he's downstairs watching peg+cat leave him be, heehee writing to help with exam stress hee hee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:42:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28081842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knife_Consumer/pseuds/Knife_Consumer
Summary: This isn't a joke fic i just cant title things help.Just a small thing i wrote to help with anxiety and being almost sure im gonna fail the school year. Hahahaga :"(
Series: Found family au 🐌🐌 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106297
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Dib tries to kill zim for the umpteenth time

Zim slowly woke up, the first things that made themselves known being a low mumbling and a few dull jabs to the back of his head.  
What was happening?  
His eyes struggled to open, as small bits of muck kept them closed. The world was blurred, and surrounding pillows and blankets were nothing more than a blob of color.  
Dib's pillows and blankets, that is.

He smiled, recalling how infuriated the stink boy had become once his parental unit told him he'd have to share a room with his sister, as his room now belonged to Zim.  
Pitiful, disgusting Dib-worm.  
His antenna twitched at the smell of cooked eggs, those of which belonged to a... what was it called? A chicken? Gir had obsessed about those things once.  
That must've been what the jabbing was, the human's rude way of waking him up for breakfast.

Yawning, Zim stretched himself out, eyes squeezed shut as be let a few relaxed chirps slip past his mouth.  
But, when he turned to roll out of bed, he was met with the pathetic "barrel" -if you could even call it that- of a squirtgun.

"Move and I shoot, spaceboy."  
Dib leaned overhead, trying desprately to hide a smile and look as serious as possible. A scalpel he'd snatched from his dad was held tightly at his side.  
Why, out of all days, did he choose this one to terrorize Zim?  
Didn't they have skool to get to?

Oh wait.  
It was the weekend now, wasn't it?

Great, just wonderful. Totally not bothersome, not at all.  
Zim groaned.  
Well, today was off to a terrible start.

"What do you want, Dib?"

"I want you to stay still while I put these alien sleep cuffs on you."  
Wait, when did he get another pair of those?  
"And then, while you're unconscious, I'll dissect you! Now, stay put and do what I say or I'll shoot! It's filled with water and BBQ sauce, just thought I'd let you know."

Oh no, he was not dealing with this today. No sir.  
Making sure to never break eye contact, Zim squirmed as much as his little body would let him.  
"Shoot coward, you won't."

"Wow, very funny Zim. Comedy genius."

"Thanks, I try."

And then, with little warning, Dib grabbed at Zim's wrists, trying to shove them into the sleep cuffs with only one hand.  
"Foolish!"  
Zim was wide awake now.  
He stood upright on the matress as Dib tried to drag his hands down to bedside table so he'd have the advantage.

But Zim wasn't going to let him do that.

Four long, metal legs shot out of his back, three he used to elevate himself even higher, while the remaining one was used to fling Dib at the nearest wall with a loud thud.  
"Ouh!"

"HA! Victory! Victory for Zim!"

"What the hell are you two doing?"

"Eh?"  
Both turned to the doorway, where Gaz looked between the two, expecting a reason as to they were so loud this early in the morning.

"I was trying to get some sleep, but then SOMEONE-"  
Gaz shook a small, angry little fist at Dib.  
"Thought it would be a good idea to try and kill the alien at 7AM."

"Uh... sorry?"

"Do it again and you're dead."  
Gaz shot back, eerily calm.

"Yup! Got it!"

Watching the exchange go down, Zim's fear of Dib-beast's sister only solidified itself. How could a creature so physically weak invoke such pure fear?  
Eugh.  
Humans were horrible.

"Ah, children! It's nice to see you all in one place!"  
Oh, it was the tall one. The "Dad". And he was actually here this time, not just a hologram.

"G'morning dad."

"Yes, Good morning. I was coming up here to let you three know that breakfast is ready."

"Did foodio make it?"  
Gaz stared up at him.

"Well... uh, yes. Um..."  
Both looked terribly disappointed.  
"I just... haven't cooked in a while. I don't exactly trust myself with-"

"Dad, you're a scientist. You can work a stove."  
This time it was Dib who spoke, bewildered at his father.

"Uhhhhh... Well! I'd best get downstairs! Don't want foodio questioning his existence again!"  
And with that, the professor was gone.

"Right... I guess I'm going downstairs, too. Sence you two woke me up..."  
Gaz gave Dib one last death glare before following her father down the steps.

After that, it was silent.

"Well, way to go, Zim. You woke up the whole house."

"I did!? You're the one who started it, Dib-puke!"

"It Dosen't matter who started it, you were louder!"

"You talked more!"

"I wasn't loud though!"

"Were too!"

"Was not!"

"Were too!"

"Was not!"

Downstairs, Gaz could hear the two shouting, probably seconds away from trying to kill eachother.  
Didn't matter though. She decided, as she took another bite of her eggs.  
It'd be nice to have some quiet for a change.


End file.
